The Talk
by VeryBoredSoul
Summary: Kakashi knows Naruto nor Sasuke have ever had the talk. So he wishes to enlighten them.


**This idea popped in my head a while ago, and I just wanted to write it down. **

**This takes place around the time of Team 7 trying to see Kakashi's face. ^.^ Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

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"See you guys later!" Sakura called as she made her way towards home.

Sasuke turned to leave as well but stopped when he felt Kakashi's hand on his shoulder.

"Sasuke, Naruto, why don't you two come with me?" It sounded more like a command than a question.

"Where to, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked impatiently. Suddenly, Naruto had a thought. Kakashi might have some super-cool mission for them! But, wait...why didn't he stop Sakura from leaving? Now he was so confused.

"Let's go to the training grounds." Was Kakashi's reply.

On the walk there, Kakashi pulled out his book to read, Naruto was ranting about ramen, and Sasuke was getting impatient.

_He better not be wasting our time._ Sasuke thought. _I have better things to do than messing around_.

Upon arriving at their training area, Kakashi advised Naruto and Sasuke to sit on the wooden stumps. After they were situated, Kakashi put his book away and stood in front of the two genin. "Alright, I'll get to the point. Have you two been told about the birds and the bees?"

Both males looked confused. Naruto, however, was the one who voiced his thoughts. "The what? What do birds and bees have anything to do with each other?"

Kakashi sighed. Just as he thought, his two male students have never been given "the talk". But, he can't blame them. Neither had blood relatives living with them to explain it to them. And he, being their teacher, should be willing to explain it to them.

"Okay, listen up you two, because I am only saying this once. The birds and the bees is a reference to procreation. Do you know what that is?"

Sasuke slightly blushed. He knew about the need to reproduce and have descendants. He also knew that the woman bore the child. What he didn't know was how the woman got the baby in her, how she conceived.

Naruto, on the other hand, was in total turmoil. "Procreation? What the heck is that?"

Kakashi smirked at Naruto's naivety. "Procreation is conceiving offspring." Naruto looked so puzzled that Kakashi continued with his explanation. "Conceiving means to get pregnant." Now Naruto looked like he understood.

"Oh yeah! When a woman has a baby in her. I get it!" Naruto shouted. Sasuke called him an idiot, and thus they began to argue. Kakashi sweat dropped and cleared his throat. Sasuke and Naruto ceased their bickering and acknowledged their sensei.

"Let's move on. Do either of you know how a baby is conceived?" Neither student said a word. "Okay, apparently not. Let me tell you two how a baby comes to be..."

**A/N: Please enjoy these words brought to you by the author!**

_Naruto and Sasuke are hearing about the joys of becoming a man. Visual aid is being provided by Jiraiya's Icha Icha Paradise series. Unfortunately, no audio was used to aid Kakashi in teaching his students. Now that Kakashi has tainted...er...enlightened Naruto's and Sasuke's minds with sex, pregnancy, and birth; let's get back to the trio!_

Sasuke looked simply disgusted and his eyebrow was twitching. Women LET men do that to them? And they ENJOY IT? Yeah, sure, Sasuke can see why the men would get pleasure from the act, but they didn't have to deal with a child coming out of them. All they had to do was...donate the X or Y chromosome. And then deal with mood swings...ugh, maybe he should rethink this whole 'restore the clan' idea...

Naruto was, for lack of a better phrase, in awe. That's why women have breasts! All for the baby. And they have these things called periods...suddenly, Naruto was VERY glad that he was a boy. Women have all these problems to deal with. All he had to do was plant the seed.

Kakashi looked at his two students. Sasuke was looking down, at the ground or at his little helper, he couldn't tell. Kakashi noticed that Sasuke's eyebrow was still twitching though. Naruto had the look on his face where something just clicked. He was looking up with his lips slightly parted. Almost a look of wonder.

Kakashi grinned underneath his mask. He did indeed enlighten his students today. "No more questions?" Both boys shook their heads. "Yes, well, if any questions should arise, have no hesitation to ask me. Oh, and don't mention this or any questions in front of Sakura. Women tend to be touchier about this subject."

And with a poof, the silver haired jonin was gone, leaving his two students to ponder and head home by themselves.

"Hey, teme?"

"What is it, dobe?"

"Kakashi-sensei never told us how to put a condom on."

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**Heh, well I hope you guys enjoyed it! It was different for me to write, showing a little of my perverted helpful side...heheh. **

**~VBS~**


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